And Then He Touched My Hair
by Barbiturates
Summary: WARNING: CRACK. A curious Eren follows a disheveled Levi who walks into a very attractive and very naked Erwin's room. Erwin x Levi PWP SMUT... With Eren being converted into an Eruri shipper.


**Hi guys :) **

**I know I've been MIA for almost a year now, but I finally decided to grow the balls to try and explain myself a little.**

**Basically I have been very, very sick. **

**I won't go into the details (I hope you understand why) but it's gotten to a point where I now see a doctor once and week and have to take medication every day. On top of having to deal with that and then the pressures of school I just haven't had the time to do anything else. **

**I'm so so so sorry for blindsiding you all and not updating my other stories, especially with that cliffhanger at the end of _The Witching Hour_. In 2 months when I graduate and enter my 3 month holiday, I will start updating again :) I think I'm quite a bit better now so please bear with me just a little longer~**

**Until then, here's some Eruri crack I wrote last year for a biffle :) I never planned to upload it because  
****1. Eruri is my notp - sorry eruri shippers :(  
2. This is total pwp smut + crack and**  
**3. I can't believe I wrote something so embarrssing**

**Either way many love to you all woo woo ^_^**

* * *

Life in the Recon Corps is surprisingly routine.

Or as routine as you can get with the constant reminder that death awaits you at every corner. As in _literally_ every corner.

Eren thinks this as he makes his way down the long halls of the castle he's being held in. He makes a sharp, uncalculated turn (because that's just how Eren does everything) and it's a flurry of white and a lot of cursing before he realises that _oh shit,_ he's just bumped into someone and _oh fucking god no_ that someone just _had _to be Lance Corporal Levi.

The floor is covered in so much paper that Eren thinks it'd take at least a few hours to get all this cleaned up, but the look on Levi's face tells him that he doesn't have much more than a few _seconds _before his cold dead body joins them on the ground.

Eren curses himself for letting his guard down because normally he's very spatially aware (and you would be too if you had Humanity's Strongest constantly breathing down your neck). But right now it's the middle of the night, and _no one _should actually be awake this time so why the hell was his Corporal strutting around with a bundle of papers and… And that's when he notices it.

"Corporal… Where are your pants?"

Eren is no longer contemplating his burial rites or the existence of an afterlife, because if there's anything to take the edge of someone it's… well it's catching them without their pants.

And it's not just his pants. Levi is barefoot with nothing but a large white button down that looks way too big to be his and red mosquito bites (?) covering almost every surface of his chest. His lips look swollen like he'd be sucking on something for hours and _holy crap_ what is that white stuff in his hair?

The Corporal's expression gives nothing away, but Eren notices him tense. And it's really not hard to spot because Levi is so toned that even the tiniest muscular contractions are noticeable. Either way, it's enough to tell Eren that whatever it is, Levi is _nervous_.

"I saw nothing if you saw nothing."

Before he can even question it, Eren's face begins to light up like he's just seen the Virgin Mary manifested on a potato chip because for some reason Levi does not want to murder him and _yes, he is going to live to see another day and-_

"You're still picking this up."

And with that Levi is gone, slinking (limping?) back into the shadows and returning to whatever had kept him up this entire time.

Eren doesn't know why he does what he does next because he's only just escaped with his life but he guesses second chances are given for a reason, right? Because he is now following Levi down the hall. And normally he would've been caught but today the corporal must be pretty frazzled because he doesn't seem to pick up on the boy's presence until they reach a door that is left slightly ajar. A thin line of lamplight is cast through the gap and Eren hides behind the corner as he watches Levi slip in only to be greeted by…

Erwin?

Captain Erwin? What the actual fuck. Was he hallucinating? No, Eren confirms it when he hears his voice.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you leave with _papers_?"

He hears the creaking of a bed, most likely the sound of Levi mounting it.

"I bumped into Eren."

At the mention of his name, Eren can't help but move closer to the door. Close enough to take a peak.

And what he sees next _holy shit _that shit needs a censored because the Erwin is just _sitting_ there, his back against the headboard with his flaccid cock hanging between his legs not batting an eyelash at the fact that his first officer is standing in front of him with his arms crossed in nothing but a white shirt and _is that his ass poking out?_

What is going on?

He hears Erwin chuckle.

"Good kid, Eren. I hope you didn't do anything to him."

Levi scoffs.

"After the state you put me in? It hurts just to walk."

And really, Eren just wants to place his hands over his ears and start singing_ Kumbaya My Lord _because he's sure an innocent teen heart like his should not be exposed to such adultery but… well….

He kinda ships it.

And he kinda wants them to hurry the fuck up and just start making out or something because no, Eren is not gay, but this is quite literally the most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on.

"Do you think he suspects anything?" Erwin asks. Levi just shrugs in response, crawling further onto the bed.

"Do you want him to?" And Levi has this mischievous glint in his eyes and Erwin is smirking.

He places a gentle hand on the shorter man's elbow to coax him down and finally, _finally_ their lips meet. Levi straddles Erwin's thighs and he grips the headboard on either side of the captain's head. Erwin places his hands on Levi's hips to hold him in place as their lips move rhythmically like it's something they've rehearsed a thousand times. He dips his head to glide his tongue over a taught nipple, tugging the white shirt over one shoulder to gain more access to the smooth skin. Erwin runs the wet appendage over Levi's neck, jaw, and finally his mouth where he is granted automatic access. Levi leans back to watch their cocks rub together as he begins rolling his hips lewdly into Erwin's crotch, feeling the heat begin to pool between his thighs.

"Now?" He pants out between kisses. Erwin runs his hands over Levi's abs.

"Not yet…" He whispers.

Levi frowns a little, but it's not too different from his usual stoic expression. "Then I need to try harder."

And with that, Levi grabs Erwin's leaking shaft and begins pumping it. And it's only a matter of seconds before Erwin is sporting a raging erection and bucking against the Corporal's hand. Levi just continues to knead at the heated flesh, rubbing his thumb over the slit as it continues to leak pre-cum.

"Okay…" Erwin pants. "Now."

And that's the only warning Levi gets before he is dragged by the hips until his ass is situated right above Erwin's aching member. Levi wipes the sweat off his brow before shoving his salty fingers into Erwin's mouth. He feels his captain's tongue slip in between the digits until they are sufficiently coated. Levi wastes no time in plunging them both into his puckered entrance and begins scissoring the hole impatiently.

Somehow, his fingers leave him wetter than when he first put them in. Levi pulls them out and inspects them briefly before placing them in his own mouth.

"Your leftovers… from before," he states matter-of-factly as he cleans of the white discharge.

Erwin's whole body is bathed in sweat and lust, be he can at least remember the important things.

"That isn't very hygienic of you." He mutters with a smirk. Levi rolls his eyes and Erwin just laughs.

"Just hurry up and put it in."

So he does.

Erwin pushes Levi down onto his member so hard that it makes him groan. But it's not a sound of pain. Levi has one hand still on the headboard and the other is behind him, gripping Erwin's thigh.

Erwin pounds into him from below, and the utterly pornographic sound of their flesh smacking against each other resonates throughout the room. Levi begins rolling his hips again and their combined movements send them both of them into a state of senseless pleasure. Levi has snaked a hand to his own member, and begins pumping incessantly. His eye are shut, brows furrowed, and he's biting his lips like he doesn't want to make a noise but he can't help the occasional hiss that makes it past his lips. In contrast, Erwin's eyes are only half-lidded, and his face holds a more controlled, determined disposition than Levi's.

Without warning, Erwin pulls out and begins to stand up, sending the shorter man toppling ungraciously on the sheets. Levi is too far gone to be mad, he just wants his release and even the captain's member is starting to look painful.

"Come here." Erwin says as he pats the desk situated near the bed.

Levi hobbles over both his front and back aching. As soon as he reaches Erwin he is bent over the hard wooden surface and Erwin is behind him, on his knees.

Levi feels Erwin's tongue enter him, and whilst it soothes the raw stinging of being pounded in just minutes ago, he wants more than just _foreplay._

"Erwin… I swear to god…" His voice is hoarse and he has to stop himself from humping the table because he _so_ needs to come right now and Erwin has a weird habit of changing locations during sex.

Said man simply stands up to his full height and runs a hand over Levi's spine.

"Just making sure I haven't torn anything." He says, and he feels the sexual frustration flow off Levi in waves.

"Tear it if you want, I don't care. Just hurry up." And Erwin thinks he hears a whimper of a "please" leave the corporal's throat but it's consumed by the moan that follows as he slips once more into the tight space.

From the go, his movements are erratic and fast-paced because both of them are already so close. Erwin grips Levi's hips until they he's sure they'll bruise and thrusts wantonly, his hips snapping back and forth as Levi's spine curls and he claws table his is bent on.

"Erwin," he growls and at this point he honestly doesn't care if the whole squad wakes up.

"Levi…" Erwin whispers with more tenderly, but his voice still wavers.

It's only seconds before they both release with a strangled cry and even with his all this training Erwin's legs give out as he sinks onto his knees. Levi follows suit and slips in front of Erwin, resting his head against his chest as they both pant in the afterglow of sex.

By now, Eren's eyes are the size of saucers and he may or may not be sporting a nosebleed. He knows he should leave now, get away while he still can and never speak of this incident (or his newfound fetish) ever again. But he's feet are frozen on the spot and he is unable to move. Even as his two superiors slowly stand up again and wipe themselves with the sheets. Even as they dress themselves and chatter amicably about "missions" and "paperwork" and other strangely normal topics. Even as they make their way to the door, and Levi slips out first shooting him a sideward glance and a look of disgust.

"Voyeur," he mutters before he leaves.

Erwin follows shortly after, and he pats Eren on the hand whilst adding a "you're a good kid, Eren" before walking off to wherever his lover had gone.

And all Eren can think is.

_Oh god. Erwin just made Levi a handjob. _

_And then he touched my hair._

* * *

**Yeah I don't know either. I just needed something to put my A/N out with ehehe ^_^;;;**


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